Embrace of Darkness
by Your Silencer
Summary: How far would you go to save someone you love? When Draco's walking close to the edge of insanity will Harry be able to bring him back? And yes, that means SLASH folks
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, although I wish I could…  
  
This is Slash...so… :P  
  
  
  
Embrace of Darkness  
  
A salty tear slid down his cheek as he sat in his room. He shuddered at the thought of what his father had just done to him. His body was battered and violated. The tears began to fall faster and his mind was a jumbled mess as pictures flashed before his eyes. His father had raped him. Raped him and beat him and yet he could nothing about it. He sobbed quietly not wanting Lucius to here. His heart began to slow as his tears subsided and he stared unblinkingly at the blackness before him. He'd lost everything that he had been clinging onto, that small piece of hope that one day he'd be free and able to get away. He was tired of fighting for life, and he made his decision. The decision to take his own life at Hogwarts. He'd rather die there than any other place. His seventh and final year was tomorrow and he would be there, around a false façade of happiness and evil. Around the laughing smiling faces of those who he envied... He blinked when the picture of emerald green eyes flashed before him. He wanted him, wanted him to hold him and comfort him, wanted him to tell him that everything would be okay. He sighed softly knowing it would never happen and most likely Harry would be delighted to hear of the tragic demise of the one and only Draco Malfoy. His eyes began to droop and sleep was becoming something he needed, but wouldn't allow, for he was too fearful of what would happen if he were to close his eyes. So he let the darkness embrace him, letting it sleep for him.  
  
***  
  
Draco slid into a sot leather seat in an empty train compartment. His eyes were bloodshot and had mean looking red rims and bags. His face was pale…paler than normal. He pressed a cold hand down on his exposed arm, brutally ripping the scabs open from where he had cut himself before. Opening the deep wounds, feeling the searing pain as he scratched harder at the sensitive flesh. Forgetting all his thoughts and troubles for just that temporary morbid moment of calm pain. Just as he closed his eyes the door swung open with a loud, laughing crowd proclaimed of Ron Weasly, Hermione Granger, and him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived. Quickly pulling the arm of his robe over the torn arm he braced himself, not wanting to turn around and face them. The laughing ceased, as they obviously spotted Draco sitting next to the window.  
  
"Get out Malfoy." Said Ron, pure malice dripping off his harsh words.  
  
With a small shudder of sadness Draco stood up, back still faced towards the trio, he dropped his head and walked past them, ignoring the glares he could feel from Ron. He hoped they hadn't noticed the blood under his nails, or his face, or even the blood that was slowly running down his hand.  
  
"Don't have anything to say? What did your daddy finally shove his nasty cock in your mouth to shut you up!" Ron questioned loudly, and laughing cruelly.  
  
Draco stopped, the tears coming fast. He turned his face halfway to see Hermione glaring at Ron and Harry staring at him with concern on his face. But he doubted it was really concern, more like amusement. He couldn't move now, he was stuck staring at the trio through sore blurry eyes, feeling he tears run heavier down his cheeks and then tasted their saltiness on his lips. He finally turned and began to walk, but his mind was racing with images and voices, and tried to move faster only to feel overcome with weakness and black take over his vision entirely.  
  
***  
  
He kept his eyes closed once he woke up. The first thing that he did noticed was how sore his body was and aching. His eyes seemed to be glues shut, possibly from the tears. Then ever so subtle he felt a hand caressing his cheek and squeezing his hand. Wondering who it was he forced his eyes open, letting them adjust. When his vision settled he found himself staring into the cold, hard, icy blue eyes of his father.  
  
~~~  
  
More to come for those who want it. Please review!!! Thanks! 


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah, umm… a few influences from music and Kat…And thanks to those of you who reviewed and those of you flamed which was …two? Thanks for some of the advice some of you. Trying with this fic but… my life is really really sucky right now and I'm having a REALLY hard time dealing and I know I'm going to need a therapist soon… okay getting too personal… but just stick with me, please! Umm flames are welcomed (sometimes) because I they help me want to write more… for this story anyway. Amanda…. I'm not going to drop out of a fic becuz no one reviewed. HOWEVER! Reviews help a lot…oh and uh Ice… not a parody. And WG thanks for the few suggestions, good for me also the other stuff maybe "hackneyed" or if you don't know that means unoriginal but you have to realize that depends on what the author does with the story and how the people respond to it and… well… next time can you leave your name, number, address and your times of when you get home from work or school, I'd just…kill… to meet you….  
  
  
  
Draco shot up in his bed and fell with a loud thud on the floor. He quickly scrambled against the wall as his father approached him slyly knowing that he was in control. Draco pressed himself against the wall and he watched with fearful eyes as Lucius towered over him. He licked his lips and smirked down at his prey with cold, hollow eyes.  
"Go away…" Draco sobbed.  
His father punched him hard in the face making Draco's head hit the wall hard and blood drip from his nose and mouth, "Shutup you little shit!" he spat kneeling in front of him and then placed a gentle hand under his son's chin taking wiping the blood away with his thumb and smearing it down his face. Lucius smiled baring his teeth. Draco shuddered; he hated that fucking smile and wanted to slit his lips and stitch his eyes, just wanting to watch him drown in his lies. A large hand clasped it's self around his neck, cutting off his circulation and drew him closer to his face, letting his tongue sweep across Draco's pale features. Feeling the disgusting warmth he wanted to vomit. With wide eyes and a trembling body Draco tried to get away, but his father kissed him hard and bit down on his lower lip causing a muffled scream to escape his mouth. He suffered from sickness, mouth was distorted from razor sharp kisses and he tried to pretend it was all in his mind. His father pulled back as he heard footsteps and stood, fixing his suit. Tears flowed freely now and he couldn't control himself anymore, there was no way out, he couldn't hold on. He was broken beyond repair. He felt disgusting and dirty not knowing how to get rid of it. He was scarred.  
The door swung open and Madame Pomfrey ran to his side.  
"What happened?" she laid her hands on his arms trying to pull him up. He couldn't stand to be touched be anyone, not now…not after everything he went through. He pushed her roughly away, throwing her body across the room. Bringing his knees to his chest, he closed his eyes hoping the scene of the confused faces would fade. He rocked himself slowly. Another hand on his shoulder this time brought him to scream and crawl quickly to the corner and began scratching at his arms again, his red puffy eyes darting around the room quickly.   
"Stay away, stay away…stay away, stay away…STAY AWAY!" he screamed at Pomfrey. His father glared at him as if telling him to stop.   
Draco stood up, stumbling some. Pomfrey looked at Lucius for some answers.  
Lucius smiled slightly, "I'm sure he just had a bad dream."  
"Stitch your smile, bruise your knees…"  
His father pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, "Excuse me?"  
"You can't give back, what you take. My eyes are bleeding. Your face is red. I stop breathing...FUCK...I'M DEAD!" he laughed insanely, grabbing a pair of scissors off Pomfrey's desk and pointed them at his father.  
"Learn to love this monster you created in your name!" he spoke softly almost innocently.  
His mouth open with a small smirk and his blood shot, red rimmed eyes with an amused look on his face he sent kissed to his father who turned red with anger. He wasn't going to take anymore. Revenge was so sweet. Lucius took a step towards his son causing Draco to cut his arm with the scissors, digging deep into the flesh his mind numb as was his heart. His father's expression changed to a disgusted look and stepped back, Pomfrey cowering behind him. Feeling the sweet blood run freely down and drip silently to the floor, oozing into a puddle that slid it's way to Lucuis' feet…as if trying to catching him and drown him in it.  
"Love me, hate me. I let you drive me crazy, crucify me, or do you wanna save me? Yes, no, maybe, it doesn't matter baby. You're not so clean, that I can't make you wanna scream," He took a few steps forward, raising his voice with each cut he made in his arm his eyes now hollow his mind and heart empty remembering everything done to him, " scream! Scream! Scream! SCREAM WITH ME!" he stopped cutting himself and jammed the scissors in his fathers right side laughing as he took the handles and opened them and closed them inside of the flesh. His father's mouth was hanging open as looked to his son and his wound. Pomfrey began to cry and ran out most likely going for Dumbledore.  
Draco let go and watched his father kneel on the floor and take the scissors out clutching his side. He got on his knees and brought his face under his father's which was slowly falling to the floor, twisting his face to look up at him.  
"You look ill father," his expression twisting from pity to enjoyment, "Down on your knees…."  
"Draco-"his father choked out.  
Draco laughed again, "Feed my affliction! RAPE MY WEAKNESS; I'LL BE YOUR LAY!" He screamed sticking his fingers inside his father's wound moving it around causing tears, and sharp breaths from his father. Watching his father squirm under him, and knowing he was getting what he deserved made him happier than he had ever been in his life.  
"On my lips, I taste your disease! Pin me to the bed, I'll be your sin."  
Feeling the skin rip around his fist and the blood pour out and run down his arm to the floor in a crimson pool. It felt like warm and slippery inside his father's body. Realizing he didn't stab that deep he used his nails scratching at the insides, drawing more blood. Pulling his now closed fist out he threw his father on his back. Looking into those eyes that showed fear he licked his index finger slowly tasting the warm blood and feeling it slide down his throat. He sat on his fathers stomach placing a kiss on his forehead and smiled pushing the bangs out of his eyes, he now felt in control.   
"Watch me bleed Daddy…" he said grabbing the scissors again and pointing them at his cuts that were dripping large amounts of blood, "Watch me bleed…" he said again and placed the cold steel on his throat, and dug the tip in his skin closing his eyes and slowly slitting the soft pale flesh. He made his decision and wanted nothing more than to finish it and leave this world behind, as he watched his father's face contort to a look of terror he felt the pain and braced himself feeling hot tears slide down his face and knew there was no turning back because in his father's eyes, he watched himself die…  
  
Sorry for the short chapters… just stick with me. Don't worry slash lovers! You just have to wait and see…   
  
---TBC---  
…please review, I really appreciate it… 


	3. Chapter 3

Falling... he was falling slowly into blackness. He couldn't see anything not, his own hands, his own body, he couldn't feel anything except the queasy feeling in his stomach, which told him he was really falling. He opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out. Not a single breath. The darkness holding him tightly and unwilling to let go. He felt something now when his stomach settled. Cold hands clasped around his wrists and he tried to scream again, nothing escaping his mouth. He felt a large body atop of his, pressing down. His mind cluttered with thoughts of his father. Wetness trailed across his face and to his lips forcing his mouth open, invading and attacking and he knew what was happening, the same thing over again. Tears ran down his face and tired desperately to see anything, but there was nothing, nothing but the dark. Clothes now gone without a trace and the feeling of skin against skin made him sob, but the sound unheard by his ears. His mind spinning, he tried desperately to ignore the hands and body on his. He closed his eyes and saw it. Saw him, pinned down to the bed by his hands, his father on top holding him steady with his weight. He watched himself turn his head to the side where the window was supposed to be, looking directly into his own eyes. He looked at his father who was pounding hard into his body, relentlessly thrusting. He felt his own body tear and sting, the pain shot through him. A smile on his fathers face as he bent his head down and bit on his neck, drawing blood. He felt a bite on his neck and he saw the fresh tears covered up the dried ones on his own face, and then he felt tears in his eyes blurring the scene out of focus. He cried out "No," several times but not a thing could escape his mouth not even a single sound was heard. He saw himself again-as his vision cleared some, seeing his tears turn to blood and then feeling thick heavy and extremely warm drops slide down his face. He knew it was blood; he tasted it when it traveled its way down to his lips. He felt everything he saw and shook his head, but that only made it worse as his father began to beat him, punching him in the face, biting him and riding harder. He couldn't close his eyes now, they were already closed and he was seeing the image in the back of his eyelids. His body wouldn't let him and his heart begged for him. Then sound flooded his ears, a horrid sound of his father grunting and moaning then a scream the echoed through his ears as his father came inside of him. He felt the searing pain and he screamed, sound rang through his ears making his heart speed up too fast in his chest. He jumped up but was still being held down by his wrists and the scream still rang in his ears and he still felt like he was falling. His voice and body failing he laid back and weakly opened his eyes. He was at hogwarts again, same room as last but a different bed. The one next to the window and the memory of himself staring out through a similar one fluttered through his mind. Voices interrupted his thoughts, the soft voices of Dumbledore and Professor Snape.  
"Here take some of this..." said Snape as he gently lifted his head and placed a cup at his mouth, "Go on now... this should help your body heal faster."  
He weakly sipped at it agreeing that his body definitely needed something and laid back, realizing his waist and wrists were strapped down by three magic leather belts, unbreakable. He turned his head back to the window trying to escape this reality through his imagination.  
Dumbledore sighed, "Yes, it will help heal his body, but not his mind..." he whispered to Snape.  
"You're right the mind cannot be healed by magic." he replied calmly.  
Draco could hear Dumbledore stand up and then he felt his hand on his shoulder. Immediately tensing up, he swallowed hard; he didn't want to be touched. The hand was quickly removed, "Draco... your father is alive. You both lost extreme amounts of blood." he paused and saw the wetness in the Slytherin's eyes on verge of coming out, "We know what happened and he is being sent to Azkaban when he heals for what he did. He is being sent on many charges."  
Draco didn't move, didn't talk... didn't do anything except continued to stare, "Your mother explained everything to us the day Lucuis arrived here. You will have to remain bedridden for quite some time I'm afraid. You aren't allowed any vistors right now, but one person was ever so determined..."  
Hearing the door creak open he heard the other two men stand and walk out. He swallowed hard again. A few footsteps were heard and the ruffling of clothing. Long silenced passed and Draco finally turned his head to see who it was. Red head, poor clothing...Ron. Draco glared as memories raced through his mind and gave him a pounding headache. He gritted his teeth to keep from lashing out.  
"Dra-Draco... I'm terribly sorry, I never meant-"  
"Liar." he whispered.  
"No...I'm tell-"  
"Liar, liar..." he saw Ron wince and he tried desperately to erase the memories. Visions of blood, of tears, of laughter. Laughter that rang through his ears. Laughter that began to mix with his father's. Blood and laughter slowly swirling.  
"I'm sor-."  
"Liar, liar...you're on fire..."  
Ron's eyes grew wide with fear and he inched back slightly, "I don't know what to say... I never meant to hurt you so much... I-"  
"No one ever does do they?" he whispered and let a tear escape, slowly traveling down his chin. He quickly turned his attention back to the window ashamed for letting Ron see. His walls were slowly crumbling and were turning to dust before his own eyes and yet he could nothing to control himself anymore, he was broken. Choked back his tears and said, "There once was a boy and he suffered from sickness, a horrible life. Tried to pretend it was all in his mind, but I know his voice when I hear mine."  
Ron shook his and stood up, "I should probably leave you alone... I don't want to further upset you."  
Draco didn't say a word as he heard the shuffling footsteps and the click of the door as it shut.   
"Alone..."  
He turned his head to the door and fear shot through his body. His father stared him dead in the eyes with the traditional Malfoy smirk, blooding coating his clothes and running down. He tried to scream but sound never escaped his mouth. Tugging furiously at straps that held his body tightly to the bed as tears flooded his eyes. Sobs escaped his mouth but they were unheard. Lucius took steps toward his son reaching for him with clammy hands, and his son closed his eyes tightly waiting for whatever was going to happen. But nothing happened, and he slowly slid his eyes open to see nothing. No one was there, not his father no one. He jerked his head ahead scanning the room as much as possible, then laid his head down feeling tired and yet the tears started to well up and run down the sides of face and he could feel them dripping almost in his ears as he stared at the ceiling. This time he could hear his sobs and cries. 


	4. Chapter 4

**********I'm really sorry that it took so long to update this, but as some of you know I've been really really busy with a lot of crap. So hopefully the chapters will come smoothly now. Big thanks to all those who have reviewed, I really love you guys, you make it so I can continue on with this fic. And huge thanks to Anney who helped me with ideas and editing that I myself was too lazy and dumb to do. Everyone thank ANNEY! WOOO. Okay on with the fic..*******  
  
Lonely days passed by and everyday he wished he had died. Cold rooms with its cold hollow sounds that almost sounded like the room it's self was breathing. Visitors were not allowed for about three days, and he spent most of time thinking, replaying every torturous deed his father had done to him, all the things in life he had been put through. But what bothered him the most was that he knew other people, some people... somewhere had it worse off than him and yet still managed to keep their sanity. He felt guilt for that. Guilty for knowing that somewhere on this God forsaken earth there were souls, more tortured than his own and yet they still managed to try and live their life best they could. Maybe it was just the fact that everyone was different.  
  
He had his afternoon talks with a man named Mr. Nutter who asked him about his thoughts and views and yet Draco ignored him the entire time, not wanting to open up. Mr. Nutter would sit patiently writing things down ever so often if there was the slightest movement from Draco. He was one of those psychologists sent to help. On the third day and his ninth visit Draco finally opened up, meekly and vaguely answering his questions and describing his feelings. It felt kind of good to get the burden off of his back even if it did come back every time. He was only the slightest bit happy to hear that he would get visitors... even if his friends didn't seem like true friends at all. But he was the fool and it felt good to be the fool. Why the hell not? Having to think that someone actually cared about you was a lot better than having to know that they didn't.  
  
After about an hour of awkward silence between Crabbe, Goyle and a slutty Pansy they left, and yet somehow thinking that they cared didn't help him right now. He laid in silence, his breathing barely even audible. He didn't expect to hear a knock on the door or the almost whispered "Hi."  
  
He turned his head slowly meeting shiny emerald eyes and he knew know that being the fool better work this time or he was going to go off the edge.  
  
"Hi," he said back, his gaze unwavering as stared into the green depths.  
  
Harry smiled silently, and fidgeted some, "How are you feeling?"  
  
Draco's jester mask was sliding off his face every second that went by till it fell to the floor, "Why the hell do you care Potter?" he asked malice literally dripping off his words. It hurt, to know that someone didn't really care. To know that you wanted them to care... and yet they just can't.  
  
Harry's expression changed to sincere, "Because Draco, I do."  
  
Draco glared and turned away noticing the sky was black and the stars shined liked diamonds. His little make believe world came crashing down completely in front of him and tears streamed down his face. He hated it, he didn't want to show weakness in front of his enemy, that wasn't how it was supposed to be but he just couldn't control his tears. He had turned into a bloody cry baby and he hated it, he hated himself. Harry got up from his seat, leaning over slightly, placing a comforting hand on Draco's shoulder and he tensed up, feeling his flesh heat to the bone like he was being burned. He shook as best as he could to get Harry's hand off of him, but Harry kept it there, unmoving and began to whisper.  
  
"It's okay Draco, I won't hurt you... please stop crying... please."  
  
"Get the fuck away from me." Draco managed to choke out. Harry let go and sat back down, head in his hands. Draco's sobs stopped but ever so often a silent tear trailed its way down his face and he felt worse and ashamed for showing his feelings and emotions, he wanted to punish himself.  
  
"Don't try and fool me Potter, it won't work"  
  
"What?" Harry asked as he looked at him in the eyes.  
  
"Your only doing this comforting bull shit because you feel sorry. But guess what? I need your damned sympthany."  
  
"Draco please, just listen to me-"  
  
"Stop."  
  
He wanted to listen, he wanted Harry to wrap him in his warm embrace and rock him back and forth telling him everything was okay, everything would always be okay and that he would be okay, they would be okay and that... that he loved him. But that wasn't what his mind told him. His mind told him it was a load of shit and not to believe a fucking word that left Harry's mouth because they were enemies. He was living in hells fiery pit of despair and he knew that Harry was possibly his only way out but somewhere deep inside he didn't want to confront that fact and he didn't want to leave the despair, because somehow it felt better.  
  
"I refuse to listen your fucking explanations-"  
  
"Why the hell won't you listen to me?" Harry said, his voice just a little higher.  
  
"Because you're full of shit! THAT'S WHY! AND IT HURTS! It fucking hurts to know your lying to me..." he lowered his voice to a soft whisper, "It hurts."  
  
Silence grew between them and Harry opened and closed his mouth wanting to say something, but couldn't quite get it out. Till finally he broke the silence and said, "I'm not lying."  
  
Draco didn't say anything only swallowed hard and Harry got up to leave, taking one last look before he head out the door hoping things would be a little better between them.  
  
  
  
Snape slowly walked by Draco on his way to his Potions class.  
  
"What?"  
  
Snape smiled slightly at him, "You sure you're ready to go back?"  
  
Draco only nodded but knew entirely all to well that he wasn't ready and he never would be ready. He was searching for a reason why he was even trying why he didn't just give up. He knew... he knew his reason all too well in the back of his head but he choose to ignore it. He doubted he would make it, he couldn't save himself because he hated himself. It, like everything he chose to ignore, was clear. His wounds weren't entirely healed, on the outside and not even beginning to heal on the inside. How much more would he bleed? How much more pain would he have to swallow? How much must he live with? Losing himself in his thoughts he hadn't even realized he was standing in front of the Potions class, staring at the door.  
  
He sighed and ran a hand through his unstyled hair which now swept across his shoulders. Looking down at the floor as he walked in. Silence filled the once loud room. He took back his old seat. Crabbe and Goyle on either side flashed him a small smile. He could hear whispering and he didn't like it, he placed his hands in his lap, slowly he roughly began to scratch at his almost healed wounds. New scars would cover where the olds ones were. He suddenly looked up when Crabbe moved over and Snape placed Harry next to him. He remembered every word that was said just the other day. He wanted to cry, but instead he scratched harder and more viciously breaking open the pale flesh and soaking in the pain that made him feel just a little better, almost like heaven. Focusing on the pain, the only thing that was real. Harry also flashed him a small smile and Draco just looked away. The class was starting the students began to quiet down and talk about other things...hopefully. In the corner of his eye he could see Harry had spotted what he was doing under the table and wished to God he would ignore it. A warm hand gently grabbed the cold one, pulling it away from the torn arm and holding it comfortingly. His emotions were overwhelming, but most of all he felt angry and yanked his hand back and ran out of the class hearing Snape call after him. He wasn't quite sure where he was headed all he knew was he needed to be away. Things were a blur as he ran as fast as he could. He noticed he was outside now and didn't slow his pace. He finally stopped at a post on the Quidditch field and slide down sitting on the cool grass leaning against one the posts, the shade covering him and protecting them from the sun. He wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head in his lap. He breathed a shaky breath as he heard someone sit down next to him. He already knew who it was, he could sense it, he could smell it, and it smelled so good.  
  
"Draco... "  
  
"So what the fuck do you want Potter?" he asked lifting his head up and glaring at him.  
  
Harry looked at him sharply, "You know you're a great actor. Somehow you make it seem like you're yourself again, and yet inside you know your not. So... call me Harry, please."  
  
Draco was shocked and didn't reply.  
  
"I just... well... first I wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened."  
  
"I'm sick of apologies." he said and got up walking away quickly. He felt a hand on his arm holding him back and he tugged away from it, stumbling slightly, "DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH ME!" he screamed, tears running down his face.  
  
"I'm so-"  
  
"DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY I'M SORRY AGAIN GOD DAMNIT! FUCK YOU!"  
  
Harry stood up shocked watching as Draco break down in front of him.  
  
Rain began to fall like his tears, seemingly flooding. Draco dropped to his knees in the grass and held his hand in between his knees sobbing roughly. His head hurt and was beginning to get dizzy.  
  
"GO THE FUCK AWAY!"  
  
Harry walked over reaching out a hand but pulled back, and instead watched, not knowing what to do.  
  
"I could never understand a motherfucking word you ever said, I never did, I never will." Draco said, now starting to calm down some, suppressing his hurt, "Turn off the lights and shine the spotlight down on you. The fucking savior, all that is right and perfect... you were never my savior."  
  
"I'm not-"  
  
"Shutup!" he shouted, raising his head, and looking up at him, "Twisted fame...," he sighed and sat there for what seemed like eternity till he finally stood up, making sure he had stuffed everything away in that little box in the back of his mind.  
  
"You only wanted to say sorry, because you have a savior complex..." he looked down and breathed in hard, slowly looking up again, "I bet you'll never come down from your tower for me." he said and walked off, not looking back, even though he desperately wanted to. His legs felt weak and it was difficult for him to walk away leaving behind a confused Harry. He wanted to look back, but he wouldn't let himself do it, he refused to. Rain was pounding down harder now, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets and continued walking, leaving Harry to stand and watch as the rain came down.  
  
"I would..." Harry whispered as a tear rolled down his cheek, "for you."  
  
If you're reading this it means you actually read all of it. Lol, now you have to review! Please, give me more motivation to write and let me know what you think. And again huge thanks to all of you have reviewed and to Anney. 


	5. Chapter 5

Okay...im extremely sorry about this chapter being so late!!! I was working on Talisman.. i had some bad writers block with this fic.. but i hope this chapter is okay...anyway.. .please review.. i feel this fic has alot of catching up to do to match Talismans reviews.. lol ... anyway here you are.  
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Draco continued to walk silently back to his dorms. His head was bent down, watching the all too familiar paths of Hogwarts. Tears silently rolled down his pale cheeks falling to the ground. As he walked down the corridors fellow Slytherins tried to talk to him, saying jokes to cheer him up or asking him if he was all right, but he ignored them and continued walking. The rest of the student body that was out and about either stared or stood away which he was neither grateful or relieved for. He sighed as he entered the Slytherin common room, finally wiping the tears from his face. He looked up to be met with pale blue eyes much like his own. His mother smiled at him softly.  
  
"What do you want?" he choked out, emotions swirling deep inside and something tugging at his gut. Her smile disappeared as she looked at her son, taking in the tear stained cheeks.   
  
"I wanted to see you honey." She said soundly sickeningly sweet. Draco snorted and began to walk away.  
  
"Draco please." She begged, never failing in her stature. He turned around and glared.  
  
"What? WHAT DO YOU WANT?"  
  
Her delicate eyebrows furrowed and she frowned, "Oh Draco," she said pulling him into a hug. "My beautiful beautiful beautiful boy," she said pushing back his hair.  
  
Something inside of him snapped, "I AM NOT YOUR PRETTY FACE GODDAMIT!"   
  
Narcissa stepped back shocked, "That's not-"  
  
"Shutup! JUST SHUTUP!" he put his hands on either side of his head and held them over his ear, pulling at his hair, "You saw, you knew, you heard! YOU FUCKING KNEW!" his eyes were beginning to water and started to feel dizzy.  
  
Narcissa shook her head, "No I never-"  
  
He looked up and cut her off, "Don't you stand there and lie to my face!" his voice lowered to a whisper, "Don't you dare."  
  
Narcissa shook her head tears falling out of her eyes, "Yes, and I'm-"  
  
"Honesty looks good on you, Mother," he spat out. "Don't ruin it."   
  
He stared hard at her for a few more seconds and then left to go to his room leaving her behind. It seemed he was leaving a lot of people behind now. He slammed the door shut and went into the bathrooms. Turning on the faucet he splashed his face with the cool water.   
  
Gripping the sides of the sink he looked into the mirror, noticing the bags under his eyes and how dead he looked now. He was still feeling dizzy and it was rapidly increasing and the need to vomit welled up inside of him. He stared long and hard at the reflection, his vision beginning to swirl, the glassy surface clouding over till he could no longer see himself.   
  
His father smirked at him and said, "Good boy, such a good boy." His voice was husky and low, sickening. Memories came flooding back, overwhelming him, drowning him.  
  
His grip on the sink tightened till his fingers slipped. He smashed his fist into the glass and was rewarded with cuts. Pieces of glass shattered and fell to the floor making a soft twinkling sound that echoed in his ears.   
  
He stared at the rest of the cracked surface and was relieved to see his reflection again. Tears spilled from his eyes and he was trying hard to breathe. He slowly dropped to the floor hoping in vain that everything would stop spinning. He crawled to one of the toilets and puked everything out of his system. He still felt dizzy and his stomach felt queasy. He slowly reached up to flush the toilet and then rested his forehead against the cool porcelain and everything seemed to spin faster and blackness over took him.  
  
***  
  
Draco woke up with a major headache and a painful nagging in his neck and his gut. He must have fallen over because he was now laying on the floor next to the toilet. He stood up slowly, stretching and turning his head. Sighing he walked towards the sink and summoned his toiletries.  
  
Once he was done he went out to find where everyone was, figuring it was dinner time he made his way to the Great Hall. He hadn't had anything to eat and maybe if he did he would feel a little better. Either that or puke his lungs out. He walked slowly, feeling a little nervous, why? He did not know, just did. He sighed and entered, head bent down watching his footsteps. Sitting down at the far end of the table he looked at the food around him and felt like he wanted to throw up. But he grabbed some and began to eat anyway. Looking up at the Gryffindors tables he sighed when he saw Harry wasn't there. He emotions were confused when it came to him. He wanted him but he was afraid of loving, and of being hurt in the end. He finished quickly and walked out heading towards the common rooms.   
  
"Draco."  
  
He turned around and saw Harry, dripping wet, sad expression on his face. He felt something in his gut tug and instantly felt bad.   
  
"What?" he said, as he watched Harry come closer. This time he didn't feel confused, he felt - comfortable.   
  
Harry looked down and then back up, with a smile weary smile, "I uh, I wanted to say that I would come down for you," he looked at the ground, "I already have Draco."   
  
Draco stared at him for a while and then felt the familiar sting and tried to hold back the tears. He wasn't going to be a bloody cry baby. He forced himself to swallow them.  
  
"Umm…" he was speechless. What was he supposed to say to him? He wanted him, and the opportunity was obviously open, he just didn't know how to take it.   
  
Harry finally looked up, a few tears falling out of his eyes, "Heh, I guess you don't see it that way."  
  
"I don't know what to say. I don't want to get hurt." He could feel his body shaking. Harry took a step towards him, "Can I kiss you?"   
  
Draco felt a blush creep up on his cheeks, "Why do you want me? After what my father did to me? I'm nothing now. I'm not good enough -"  
  
Harry only stepped forward, took his hands in his and brushed his lips against his. Draco let out a sob and a few tears leaked out of his eyes. Harry kissed them away and placed Draco's hands around his shoulders, moving his to his waist and kissed him again. This time Draco responded, opening his mouth to let Harry in, and holding on to him like no tomorrow. He sobbed silently into the kiss more tears falling, some of which were Harry's. They both cried into the kiss for the loss of innocence and trust that was found once again.  
  
~~~~  
Thank you for reading, come back again! lol.. okay please review.. and let me know if i should i continue with this fic or if you all think its done... whatever... on to the review button! :) 


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